Dating teenagers after divorce
Some children may be comfortable with our online dating, our going out, our parade of coffee or drink encounters, or fix-ups for those who still engage in the personal introduction. They’re threatened, they’re jealous, they’re conflicted. Sometimes, they can be more on target when it comes to judging who we’re dating than we are.
In my first few years of dating after divorce, I found the exercise an amusement and an irritation: could I get my “groove” back, could I feel confident as a single woman again, could I schmooze, could I listen, could I flirt – just enough, without going too far.
If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it 1,000 times: Dating after divorce is a totally different and completely better experience than last time around.
A lot has happened since you were dating back in the day. Probably had kids, and went through a divorce, for crying out loud! It’s normal to channel our pre-marriage selves as a point of reference when venturing out into the world as a newly single person.
And, it’s natural for you to not want your parents to date other people.
Sometimes, it’s hard to get past the “weird factor” and accept this new phase of your parents’ lives.
Hopefully your mom or dad has given you, and themselves, enough time to adjust to the divorce before they start dating.
Consider a woman I’ll call Amanda — the fiance of an old friend.How children act out this anger depends on their developmental stage. Whatever the circumstances, dating may trigger emotions that are similar for both parents and children.Clear and sensitive communication is the key to helping children cope with the adjustment. Children may feel anger that parents have their own rules for sexual behaviour and enforce what may seem like different rules for their children. They may be fearful of being hurt again, worry that they may not be loved by the new person, and have concerns about how the new person will fit into their lives.Parents should explain that they, like other human beings, have sexual feelings and that these are a natural part of adult life. Children may feel they have been abandoned again and experience a renewed loss when parents spend time with another adult.Finding extra time for the child while seeing a new person is difficult, but important. Children may feel anger at being forced by adults to make another adjustment.